MY FATHER and MOTHER, THE EARLY YEARS

Friday, August 1, 2008

MY FATHER and MOTHER, THE EARLY YEARS

End of 2nd World War and getting married

The ending of 2nd world war does not bring any economic reprieve to my father. As a widower, managing his family in a war torn city was unbearably difficult. He decided to return to Hainan Island where we had our ancestral home with farmland. Through match making he remarried my mother sometime in 1947 or 48. My mother came from a very remote farming village and the only daughter of a farmer and part-time carpenter. Its the Ngiam family. In 1949 my elder brother Bobby was born. My mum said he was the first to be delivered in a village maternity hospital. That was mum and dad wedding photo on the right. Sadly, the looks on both faces doesn't portray a  'joyous' occasion. Many thoughts and uncertainties must be running through them particularly my mum. Life then was all about fate and destiny.


Coming to Singapore

In the 40s' and50’s there was hardly any economic opportunities in China, least to say in a remote village on Hainan Island. My father decided to return to Singapore to work as a clerk in a small hotel called Shang Onn Hotel, jointly owned by our Hainanese relatives. Like many families, the man went overseas and left behind the wife and children to fend for themselves. Working overseas meant my father can remit some money to support the family back in China. 

Bought Attap House

After my father has found some financial stability in Singapore, he arranged for my mum and brother to emigrate to Singapore in 1953. My mum said the sea passage on the ship was crampy and very tough  especially travelling with a 4 years old child. My father did this after saving enough money to buy an old attap house in Sembawang, about 13 miles from the city, This remote farmland house was located in on the fringes of Chong Pang Village. The path leading to the house were dirt trails through forest. The walking time was about 20 minutes to the main road, Sembawang Road. It was on this road I will use for my next 30 years to school and work. 

The address is 162C Sembawang Road. My life history commences from this attap house. Here in 1954, I was born, delivered by midwife in this house. Father was 50 years old then. In those days, it was common for baby to be delivered at home. I was born at night under kerosene light. My sister was born a year later and follows by my youngest brother in 1959. The picture below are my sibling. From left, me, my sister and older brother holding our youngest brother



I had very scant memory of my grandmother. She passed away when I was in Primary 1 or 2. I never saw my grandfather except in photograph. My grandmother did not left any meaningful impact on me. I could not remember one single moment I was with her. The photo below is my grandfather and grandmother

New job as 'Kapala'

When one of my wealthy relatives bought a piece of land, they hired my father as the estate headman. The villager called him Kapala. His responsibility was to collect monthly rental from over the 70 households and squatters. He was also to develop and manage the rubber plantation. He grew and nurtured rubber saplings for this rubber plantation. When the rubber trees matured, he supervised the tapping and collection of rubber latex. The latex were processed to rubber sheet and then hang dried and smoked. It was then sold. Father was a responsible and honest worker. Many squatters had attempted to bribe him to illegally occupy more land and build bigger structure to expand their chicken coups and pig pans. For a poor man who refused easy money was truly respectable and honorable. This to me is integrity. That’s what makes a upright man proud. This was the value my father taught me.

My father was a very tough supervisor. All the plantation workers were scared of him. If he was not happy, he will just blast off and no want dare to challenge or disagree with him. As for the villagers, they respected him. We received lots of food during the Chinese festivities as some respected him as a village head.

In the village, it is a norm to breed chicken and pigs, grew your own vegetables to supplement one’s income. Although his income was miniscule, it was enough to support his family. Father was a thrifty man. He never spend money on himself, never wasted his money in coffee shops. For him, every cent counted. We had more than enough to eat. He provided us with education. We lived a normal life and we all had meaningful and happy childhood. Father was very strict and stern in the family. His gaze alone will send shiver down your spine if you were found to be mischievous. We were instilled good manners and respect for the elders and the authority. Father was very brave, never seems to be fearful of darkness, ghosts, dogs and anything under the sun or moon.


My Mother

My mum was physically strong and very hardworking. She did all the domestic chores, washing, cooking, and looking after 4 children. I admired her tireless effort, working from dawn to dusk, in the farm, tending to chicken and pigs. Now in my comfort zone, I often asked why people from my mother's generation work so hard and complain so little? Could it be economic imperative or social environment or just plain instinct to survive, or just working hard to secure a better future for the next generation. How do I explain the meaning of ‘hard work’ to today generations?

On my mother's side, she had 2 older brothers (Ngiam) in Singapore and 2 younger brothers in China. She also had 2 cousins (Han). She was very close to all of them. 

Short summary of significant events my father experienced. 

My father was born towards the end of the Manchu Ching Dynasty in 1905. The Manchu was overthrown by Chinese Nationalist in 1911. 

In the next 3 decades, China went through political turmoil and upheaval caused by civil war. First was warlordism, followed by the Nationalist against the Communist. In the 1930s, the Great Depression brought economic hardship to China. 

Japan invaded China in 1937 and brought tortous untold hardship and suffering to the Chinese populace. 

After the war ended in 1945, civil wars restarted in China between the Mao's Communist Party against Chiang KS Nationalist. Mao won and established PRC.

My father came to Malaya in the late 30s. He endured the Japanese occupation and saw his first wife killed by the Japanese Army. He returned to China after the war and remarried in around 1947. The bride would become my mother. 

For economic reasons, he migrated to Singapore again around 1951 and started a new life. In 1953, my mother was reunited with my father. I was born in 1954, and that started my chapter.

My father worked hard to raise a happy family. He retired in his mid-70s when we began working. He passed away in 1992. 

The first 50 years of my father life were tumultuous, without peace. It was not his choice, just fate or bad luck. Thanks goodness, my first 50 years of life would be an envy for my father and his generations. 

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